


Friends In Scary Places

by mediocrityatbest



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, I don't know, M/M, Other, could it be classified as horrror?, general haunted house type stuff, however, i'm not very happy with this one regardless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 08:02:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21158321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mediocrityatbest/pseuds/mediocrityatbest
Summary: This is for Sanders Sides Spooky Month hosted by @sanderssidescelebrations on Tumblr!Day Six Prompt: Haunted houseOne thing Patton loves are haunted houses.





	Friends In Scary Places

Patton loved haunted houses. It wasn’t something most people expected, wasn’t something most people looked at him and assumed. People liked to look at Patton and see pretty and delicate and soft and gentle and sweet. And Patton was those things, he enjoyed being those things.

That didn’t mean it wasn’t fun to let go sometimes.

So when he asked his boyfriend if they could go to a haunted house, well, it was a pretty big shock. They’d been dating for six months and he was still realizing just how many facets Patton had.

“You want to go to a haunted house?” Virgil asked, disbelief coating his words. Patton smiled, nodded. “Seriously?” The incredulous look on his face was melting away into a genuine, excited smile.

“Of course seriously, Virge. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.”

“Awesome,” Virgil said, practically vibrating. “I love haunted houses but I wasn’t sure you’d want to go and I didn’t want to bring it up because I didn’t want you to feel pressured into it.”

“Well, honey, you have to ask,” Patton said. “Asking isn’t going to pressure me into saying yes if I mean no.” He kissed Virgil’s cheek. “But I do love haunted houses, and I would love to go to one with you even more.” A blush spread over Virgil’s face, and Patton could not have been happier.

That’s how eleven o’clock p.m. finds them standing at the front of the line for Patton’s favorite haunted house. It was cold, and Virgil was shivering, but Patton wrapped his arms around his boyfriend to keep him warm.

“Just so you know,” Virgil added just before they walked in the door, “I have a disclaimer: I am a jumpy person. I will scream a lot. You may be deaf by the time this is over.”

“It’s okay, honey,” Patton said. “I’ll protect you.” They drew closer together and stepped through the door into a small, dark room.

They were in a group of six with four strangers. One man had curly red hair and a bright red sash on, dressed as a prince. He was holding hands with a man who was wearing one snake-eye contact and had scales drawn artfully down the side of his face. The other two weren’t dressed up: one had glasses and a tie and an afro, holding onto his companion too tightly for it just to be casual. The last man looked just like the first, but with darker hair, a mustache, and a crop top on.

“Same glasses!” Patton exclaimed to the most put-together looking one of the bunch. He scrunched up his face in confusion, but didn’t comment.

“I like your make-up,” Virgil said to the smallest one with scales.

“What make-up? Darling, I assure you, this is all real.” The man motioned to his face with a flourish. Virgil stared for a moment before turning to Patton deadpan and saying, “I didn’t know they were sending us through with clowns.” The person Scaley was holding hands with choked on a laugh.

“Please,” he said, “ignore my boyfriend. He deals with fear by lying.”

“I do not,” Scaley hissed. Sash chuckled and kept going like a steamroller with no breaks.

“Also, if I punch you, I am so sorry. My fear response is to hit things.”

“I wonder why that would be?” said Glasses with a pointed look at the final member of their group. He almost seemed to preen under the judgemental gaze.

“I take no responsibility for that,” Clone said with a smile that told Patton he really was at fault. “If he gets scared of worms, he simply should not lay in a bed of them. Rip to Roman, but I’m different.” Glasses pinched his nose with his free hand and closed his eyes, looking like he was fighting off a migraine or an aneurysm.

“Patton,” Virgil said faintly, “I think we’re going to die.” Patton squeezed the arm around Virgil’s waist, reassuring him silently. This was a rather eclectic group, but they seemed friendly enough! There were new friends around every corner, and this haunted house would be no different.

“This way, please,” an eerie old man said in easily the most disturbing voice Patton had ever heard. Their group shuffled toward the second door. “Once you go through this door, there is no turning back. Does anyone want to run while you still have the chance?” None of them said anything. “Wonderful. Willing sacrifices. Makes my job much easier. I don’t want to have to run you down.” Patton laughed softly. “Now, the rules are simple: do not touch the monsters as they will not touch you. Do not go off the path. It leads through the house and out the other side. We are not responsible for you if you leave the path and are lost for the rest of eternity. Do not go backwards on the path; there will be another group behind yours. If the scaring becomes too intense and you would like to leave, flag one of us down. You will be taken out of the house; there are no refunds. Any questions?” They all stayed quiet. “Good.” He pushed the door open to reveal a long, narrow hallway. “Have fun. Try not to stay too long. They like to keep you if they get fond.” The man laughed in a distinctly creepy way. Virgil shivered against Patton’s side.

“Front or back?” Patton whispered to Virgil.

“Getting stabbed first?” Virgil asked. “No thank you. I’ll take the back.”

“So they can sneak up behind you? Interesting priorities,” Scaley said.

“I have eyes in the back of my head,” Virgil said. “Much better than my forward facing ones.” Patton giggled at the totally serious look on his boyfriend’s face; it was so cute that he could say bullshit so convincingly.

“Do you also have-”

“Don’t,” chimed Scaley, Sash, and Glasses all in unison, speaking right over whatever Clone was saying. Clone just smiled gleefully.

“We’ll take the lead,” Sash said, pulling Scaley with him to the front. “Don’t worry, we’ll protect you guys from any murderers. A prince does nothing less for his subjects.” Clone grumbled something, but all of his friends ignored it. Patton smiled sympathetically at him, and they proceeded through the door.

“Thank you, sir,” Patton said to the employee still holding the door open as they passed. The man just smiled, too wide and slightly deranged, and Patton smiled right back.

“Smile too much and your face’ll stick like that,” Virgil mumbled into Patton’s neck as their group inched down the hall. Patton shrugged, jostling Virgil slightly toward the wall.

“I don’t think that would be so bad.”

“No,” Virgil agreed. “I like your face like that. But I like your face a lot of other ways too.”

Their group came up on the first room, and Sash groaned when he saw it. “Of course this would be first.” He buried his face in Scaley’s hair.

“At least it can’t get any worse for you,” Scaley muttered, smirking as he pulled them into the room.

“Are you sure about that?” Virgil and Clone said at the same time. They both paused, and Clone turned around to make eye contact with Virgil.

“A new friend?” Clone asked.

“Hell yeah,” Virgil said. They fist bumped. Glasses rolled his eyes.

“Good god, there’s two of them now,” he said. Patton laughed and patted the man’s shoulder.

“The more the merrier?” he suggested as they finally went into the room. Glasses grumbled and shook his head at the toys littering the walls and bed of the room.

“Oh, Roman, you must be in  _ hell _ ,” said Clone. “I sure hope none of these dolls talk. Or move. Or follow you home.” Glasses placed a hand over Clone’s mouth.

“Aw, c’mon,” Patton lied. “I think they’re kind of cute.” He giggled at the look of horror on his companion’s faces, at the look of adoration on Virgil’s, and examined the room. Exceptionally creepy dolls were lining shelves that spanned every wall, as well as being thrown haphazardly on the floor and bed. The bed itself was dirty - who would let a child’s bed get so nasty? - and had a checkered sheet on. It reminded Patton of the one he used at home. He shivered.

“We are going to die here,” Sash sang.

“The scariest thing about this is how unclean it is,” Glasses said, shaking. They began walking more quickly, but froze in place when a tinny laugh sounded from across the room. Virgil shivered and took a step farther away from the doll lined wall. Patton laughed nervously. Dolls were awful.

The bed near the far wall began rumbling and shaking, and a humanoid figure rose under the sheets. They all scrambled to face it, packed in close, and Patton realized too late that their backs were exposed.

He turned just in time to see the horrifyingly made-up doll-girl just a few inches away. He let out a shout and backpedaled, and Virgil followed him without a word of objection. The others all scrambled away, trying to find sanctuary.

“Don’t you want to play with me?” the girl asked. “Mommy says you have to play with me.” She giggled, dropped her head sideways so it looked like her neck had been broken. She stopped giggling. “Aren’t you going to play with me?” Suddenly, dozens of other voices began sounding around the room, demanding  _ play _ and  _ mommy said _ . The girl staggered closer to them, arms outstretched, and her voice dropped to sound nearly demonic. “Come and play!” she shrieked.

“Sorry, we can’t play! So busy right now! Maybe later!” Virgil grabbed Patton’s hand and took off, and Patton did not hesitate to follow. They were the last ones to clear the plastic strips separating the doll room from the next short hall.

“Why did you stay in there so long? Are you two insane?” exclaimed Sash. Patton smiled at him, shrugged.

“I thought her dress was cute,” he said, heart hammering in his chest.

“I should have asked where she got it,” Virgil added. “I might get one.” Patton giggled and squeezed Virgil’s hand. One thing Patton had been very happy to discover when he and Virgil had marathoned horror movies together was that they dealt with fear in the same way: talking about the normal aspects and never acknowledging how terrifying it was. It bothered some people, but it worked well enough.

“I liked the dolls,” Clone said. “Might have to come back through and take one home with me.”

“You are absolutely not,” said Glasses. When Clone didn’t say anything, Glasses said, “Remus Prince, if I find one of those dolls in our apartment, I will personally kill you.”

“Kinky,” said Clone. Glasses glared at him as they started down the hall. “Fine. Anything for you, Lolo! Though I do so wish you’d ask for something a little...exciting. Like a-”

“Don’t,” said the other three in unison. They reached the next door as Clone pouted.

“I think a doll would be a very thoughtful gift,” Patton whispered. Virgil elbowed his ribs.

“I side with neck tie,” Virgil muttered. “If there is a doll anywhere in my general vicinity in the next two months and it is your doing, I will end you.”

“Well,” Patton said, and was cut off by Virgil’s scream. People in inmate outfits and chains and mutilated animal masks were banging on the walls and sticking their arms through the bars, begging for help. All six of them rushed down the hallway, but Scaley and Sash pulled farther ahead. And it was Virgil who saw the next scare first.

“Oh, fuck, there’s a corner,” Virgil whispered. “People always hide around corners. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.” He giggled half-hysterically. “This is why we choose the back. Shit.” Sash, heedless of the corner and scarer behind it, did not slow down. The man rounded the corner, flailed backward screaming, and then forged onward, breezing past the scarer as though they were nothing more than a statue. Before Clone and Glasses, in front of Patton and Virgil, even got to the corner, Virgil screamed and dived forward, losing his grip on Patton’s hand. Patton turned to see the girl from the doll room smiling crookedly.

“Don’t you want to come back and play?”

“I love your dress and I would love to play, but you are very scary, goodbye!” Patton said. He jumped forward and Virgil snatchd his hand. They ran to catch the other pair. Even though they all knew where the person around the corner was, they still screamed and careened into Clone and Glasses and then took off running.

Patton pulled Virgil through the plastic strips leading to the second room and stopped short. There was a man with a chainsaw standing over a screaming woman with her intestines spilling out. Nurses milled around the room looking like zombies with pallid green skin and broken limbs.

“What a wonderful heart!” Chainsaw-Doctor’s-Coat-Man said, as the woman screamed and he began pulling out organs. “But this liver,” he tutted. “What a shame, what a shame.” His eyes flitted up to lock with Virgil’s. “But you…” he came closer, chainsaw in one hand and pointing at Virgil with the other. “You look like you have a lively liver.”

“No, sir,” Virgil said, slowly inching closer to the other four, “no such liver here. I drink. All the time. My liver really has gone down the shitter.” Clone laughed.

“Help me! Please!” the woman screamed raggedly. Patton tapped a pattern on Virgil’s hand. Virgil was tensed to run, but he still gave Patton’s hand a quick squeeze.

“What about you, my boy?” the doctor said, moving on. “What’s your liver worth to you? Your life?” Before Clone could respond, the doctor stepped back and revved his chainsaw. “Nurses, get him!” As one, every nurse in the room turned to face them, and then staggered forward. “Run, little pretties! Run, run!”

And run they did. They ran straight through the rest of the room, and spilled out into the hallway. There were strobe lights on the ceiling and it was much tighter than the last, barely larger than one person wide. Sash had managed to cram in next to Scaley and they held each other.

“That’s it,” he announced. “I am no longer leading this expedition. I quit.”

“Are you alright, kiddo?” Patton asked, concerned. “Do you need to leave?” It shouldn’t be too hard to track down a cast member and get him out if he needed it. Sash paused to deliberate, but shook his head.

“No. I just do not want to be in the front anymore. We’re moving to the middle.”

“We can take front if you don’t want it,” Virgil said. With everyone in agreement, Virgil and Patton crushed to the wall and squished through. Virgil took the lead. Patton had ahold of Virgil’s hoodie as they went. Sash was directly behind him, muttering in spanish.

“You doing good, kiddo?” he asked quietly. Sash jumped, but smiled shakily and nodded.

“Yeah, I’m fine. To be honest, I’m only here because everyone else likes it. Haunts are...not my typical hang out.” Sash shrugged. “I don’t mind coming, but I am not built for this. I’m meant for the lap of luxury.” He sighed theatrically. “But a Prince must do what Prince must do.”

“Well, if it gets to be too much, there’s no shame in leaving,” Patton said. “But to not even like it and come in anyway? You’re braver than all of us, kiddo.” They turned a corner in relative silence.

“Oh, cool,” Virgil groaned. “Creepy paintings on the walls. I wonder what those do.” Patton giggled and then got a despicable idea.

“Watch this,” he muttered to Sash. Slowly, he pulled Virgil’s hoodie back slightly and then grabbed his side with no warning. Virgil shrieked and took off. Sash jumped in surprise and hit Patton’s back, but Patton was laughing so hard he barely even noticed.

“You fucking asshole,” Virgil said, collapsed at the other end of the hall. “Betrayed by my very own fucking boyfriend like this? How could you?” Patton felt a little bad, but Virgil was fighting not to smile so he didn’t feel  _ too _ bad.

“You are absolutely ruthless,” Roman said. “I am-” Two of the paintings dropped out of their frames and monsters screamed and reached out for them. The others started screaming but Patton just stumbled, almost fell, and then raced to Virgil. When he turned around, Glasses and Clone had evidently retreated and Scaley was rushing Sash toward the correct end of the hall.

The paintings slid back into place. Virgil started laughing, and Patton looked at him fondly.

“What’s so funny?” Sash asked, voice shaking.

“Nothing,” Virgil said, still giggling. “There’s noth-ing funny at all.”

“He does this when he gets scared sometimes,” Patton confided in Sash. He pulled Virgil up from the floor. “You good to keep going?”

“I’m fine, Pat.” Virgil was starting to calm down, so Patton took his hand and pulled them toward the final room. Creepy music box music was floating out, and Patton parted the barrier to see what the inside was: a mirror maze. That was certainly a new addition.

“Fuck,” Patton said.

“Double fuck,” agreed Virgil. “Are any of you good with directions?” Every person in their group shook their head. Virgil sighed. “This is not how I thought I was going to die tonight, but here we are. Let’s get this over with.” He went left. Patton had a feeling they should have gone straight.

Patton thought, going in, that a mirror maze would be hard but not that scary; he was wrong. There were trick mirrors and actors creeping around the maze. The source of the music was constantly changing locations, and whenever it got louder, somebody was bound to jump out. Until they didn’t, and they were all coiled tense as springs for no reason. Once the music even stopped, and Patton is unashamed to admit he almost wet himself terror when it started back up directly next to his head. Sometimes the lights flickered, others they strobed, and occasionally went out completely. There was a thick layer of fog covering the ground, and at one point they managed to lose both Clone and Virgil. They found them again through sheer luck and the pair’s terrified screams when they got snuck up on.

It took them twenty minutes to find their way out of the maze, and they only did it that quickly because the actors had to start herding them toward the exit.

“I see you lived,” said the same old man who had showed them in. “How unfortunate. Toodle-oo.” He shooed them away and pulled the door shut behind them.

The six of them, bonded by fear, just stood there.

“It feels weird to leave now that we’ve all been talking to each other, doesn’t it?” asked Virgil. “It’s almost like we should be friends or something.”

“We are friends, emo,” said Clone. “We already agreed.”

“Good point.” Virgil shrugged. “Still, though.”

“Maybe we should, I don’t know,” said Scaley sarcastically, “exchange numbers and meet up again or something.”

“There’s a nice little Halloween festival happening tomorrow night that we’re going to,” Patton offered. At Roman’s shudder, he added, “No scares or anything. There’s a little petting zoo with goats and alpacas and they have a corn maze and games and hot apple cider and hot chocolate. It goes from five pm to three am.”

“That is an acceptable outcome for me,” Glasses said. He passed his phone to Patton. “Input your contact information, and I will send it to everyone else, if that is alright?” Patton nodded and entered both his and Virgil’s stuff.

“It was nice meeting you,” Patton said. “We’ll see you tomorrow.” Patton waved and they all went their separate ways.

That night, as they lay in Virgil’s bed to sleep, Virgil mumbled quietly, “Whoever heard of making friends in a haunted house?” Patton hummed in response and stroked Virgil’s hair. “I don’t know anybody but you that could do something like that, Pat.”

“You did it just as much as I did, Virge,” Patton said. He paused as Virgil snuggled closer, then picked up playing with his hair again. “Love you, V.”

“Love you too, Patton. See you in the morning.” Virgil went out like a light and Patton, exhausted from their night of scares, was not long to follow.


End file.
